I don't really do personal updates, but suffice it to say life has been kicking my ass. But I'm making like the kitten on the poster and hanging in there, baby.

In other news, I'm back to working on my novel, and I've got a sassy new hairstyle. Show-wise, my main loves are Gossip Girl and Criminal Minds - and they're not as polar opposite as you'd think! Fic-wise, I've got several pieces in the works I'm really excited about, including a couple epics and porns. Primarily GG and CM, with a few crossovers thrown in.

The most exciting thing, though, is that gespawcho and I have been hard at work on a dual creative journal - closeawcho. That's where all my fics will be posted from now on, and this journal will be kept alive with the occasional personal post. (Imagine!)

So if anybody's friended me for my fics - please join closeawcho and feel free to defriend me here if you'd like. There's already a *ton* of stories up, covering a real mixed bag of fandoms - including the Law & Orders, Cold Case, Battelstar Galactica, Wicked, Degrassi, and crossovers, such as Criminal Minds/Threshold and BSG/West Wing.

And let's not forget the porn and RPFS - flocked and exclusive to the comm because, well, I've given it away for free long enough.

Title: Crawling Isn’t Beautiful (But It Sure Beats Standing Still)
Rating: R. There’s relatively graphic sex.
Wordcount: 10,373
Summary: “I’m not sleeping. I don’t – I can’t be alone in the dark.”
Spoilers: For Revelations (2.15) and Penelope (3.09).
A/N: My Jemily relationship thesis fic got pushed aside, yet again, because I couldn’t get this idea out of my head. (Now it’s on hold all together until I see how the show handles the upcoming, um, issue in canon.) This one is everything I don’t think could happen and wouldn’t want to happen - and, of course, that was the draw in writing it. It picks up right after Revelations and is extremely AU.
A/N2: I love these girls, despite my propensity to put them through hellish situations. A lot of times, when I set out to write something, the end product is entirely different than what I intended. This fic is exactly what I wanted it to be, and that’s due, in no small part, to my fantastic partner-in-crime, gespawcho.

( JJ forces back a wave of panic... )

Again, for the porn battle.

( What Happens In Victrola (Stays In Victrola) )

Written for the Porn Battle.

( Serena slips a quarter into the jukebox )

There's a porn battle raging on over ( here ) and anyone who's into Gossip Girl / Criminal Minds needs to check it out. gespawcho and I plan to represent!

It started Sunday and runs all this week.

So far there's:

Waldsen in the future (page 1)
S/Tim Riggins (page 2)
Bleighton + Steven Strait (Bleightonstrait) rpfs (page 6)

and about 8958735 SGA/Buffy/band/similar fics, so we're outnumbered, but damn, our stuff is hot.

Title: I Read With Every Broken Heart We Should Become More Adventurous
Rating: R
Wordcount: 15,316 (yes, you read that right)
Summary: An AU future!fic.
A/N: This is the first of several collaborations between theclosetalker and gespawcho. We brainstormed with and consulted each other on every aspect, and it was truly a joint effort.
A/N2: This is an idea that began innocently and whimsically enough out of one of our days'-long, open-ended conversations. It essentially started out as a throwaway crack!fic idea based sheerly on the hotness of four actresses that eventually evolved into a question about how funny it would be if Serena dated someone that looked a great deal like her and Blair did the same. Four seconds later, it metamorphosed into us wondering how trippy and hilarious it would be if Waldsen broke up and started dating doppelgangers of each other and then they all met and it was awkward. So, that's how this came about, and we hope that you enjoy it in the spirit in which it was engendered. Title taken from the Rilo Kiley song More Adventurous.
A/N3: In case anybody missed it during the holiday bustle, I’m pimping my Waldsen porn here, affectionately nicknamed ( pie!fic ).

( The plastic squares beneath her fingertips feel slippery. )

Title: It’s Not A Side Effect of the Alcohol (the Blair Waldorf Must Pie! Remix)
Rating: R This may actually be NC-17. And I don’t give that rating lightly.
Summary: Extended (dirty) version of the two thanksgiving scenes from BWMP.
Author’s Note: This is my response to fic requests from gespawcho (who wanted B taking care of drunk!S) and memorylapses (who wanted some dirty Waldsen). This got away from me a little, so, um, yeah. Happy holidays!


( Thanksgiving 2006 )

Title: Bend and Not Break
Rating: R. There’s sex, oh yes.
Wordcont: 2,263
Summary: A case gone horribly wrong brings Emily to JJ’s door. (Prompt by fewthistle.)
Spoilers: None, but it takes place in the not-so-distant future, and presupposes a relationship between them.
AN: This is much different than all the great fics I’ve read, but hopefully no less interesting and in character. When I read your prompt, fewthistle, I got the urge to write something angsty, culminating in comfort sex. I hope it’s not too far from what you wanted.
AN2: This story takes place in the CM world in my mind – where something happened between them after Revelations and their relationship has been building since. I was actually in the middle of writing that fic when I stopped to write this one because the prompt really struck me. And this story wouldn’t exist (or it would exist and pale in comparison) without my fic cohort, gespawcho.
AN3: About time somebody sexed them up in a fic. I’m just saying.

(  What did Garcia say again?  )

Please stop being sogay with everyone you come in contact with, kthx.


I feel a fic urge coming on. Srsly. I am not responsible for my actions.

Or my dream coming true?

If this is canon, I'm going to self destruct 10 seconds after it airs. Srsly.

Title: This Bed Is On Fire (or Whoever Said Lying Is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off Was Seriously Mistaken)
Rating: Um. R. Yes.
Summary: A series of firsts.
Spoilers: None. It's all AU. So, you know, Nate doesn’t exist, and Serena never had to leave.
Disclaimer: Songs belong to James and Panic! At the Disco respectively. Waldsen are not mine. But, oh, how I wish they were.
Author’s Note: This started out innocently enough but ended up taking on a life of its own. (Due, in no small part, to gespawcho, my enabler in all things GG.) It’s been a while since I’ve been a pre-teen, but I put a lot of thought into the timeline, and tried to make the progression of their relationship as realistic and organic as possible. (Though this still makes be a bit of a perv, y/y?)



( Blair's 6 when )

Straight from AfterEllen:

"Same Sex" Action confirmed for Gossip Girl

Kristin from E!News confirmed that there will be some "Same Sex action" coming on Gossip Girl, but didn't give any other details.  But It's clear who we are rooting for.


This better mean what I think it means. WHO ELSE has the chemistry and potential of Waldsen? If it's, like, Katy and Is or a non-principal character, I'm going to smack someone.

Waldsen making out in a flashback. Is that too much to ask? Srsly.

Um.

*brain fizzles*

( My thoughts. )

I haven't decided if this is good or bad yet.

Caught in the Act! -

It was a girls' night out for Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester at STK, a downtown New York steakhouse. Sporting a black and white striped blouse and thick framed reading glasses, Meester looked very studious and nothing like her glamorous character, Blair Waldorf. Sitting in a circular booth, the actress and her three friends gabbed animatedly over their meals. At one point, Meester started dancing, shimmying her arms and upper body to the backgroundmusic.

Who am I kidding? This is very good. There's so much geekiness and hotness in that short paragraph. The glasses! The gabbing! The chair dancing! What did she order? Who was she with? WHY ARE THERE NO PICTURES?

Um, I am apparently very ready for it to be tonight so I can watch the new ep and flail over dark!Blair and Chuck.

Time? HURRY UP AND GET WITH IT.

This made me ridiculously happy to see, for many reasons.

a) They're hot.

b) They made me feel kinda dirty to look at, in that way paparazzi pics are supposed to. Leight, bb, look who now cares that you drunkenly stumble into a cab in the wee hours with a hot guy. Who's that? Oh hi, internets.

c) Sebastian Stan >>>> weird, thin tattooed guy in hat. UPGRADE.

d) They're hot. It always comes back to that.

( to the pervy hotness! )

IceSkating!Blair is the most adorable thing ever.

( See? )

Title: Press Coverage Facilitates Pants Removal (Full Story At Ten)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Bleighton fluff.
Disclaimer: These are real people and, as far as I know, this never happened. Pity, though, because it’d be hot.
Author's Note: This couldn't be helped. Not that I tried, but they're so cute and slashy, they're just asking for it. Thanks to the awesome gespawcho who loves them as much as I do and gave me the idea for the final section. Which is where all the good stuff happens.

( one )

...have I been thinking Kelly Bishop was cast as Serena's outrageously manipulative and generally fabulous grandmother? I could've sworn I read it somewhere. This is what happens when I don't stick to my gut and I go and read too many blogs and I get spoiled. I blur reality and fantasy. (Why can't that happen with more fun things?) The girl they ended up casting looks about two years older than Kelly Rutherford. (Nevermind that she's got TWENTY on Kelly in reality.)

People in the casting department should really consult me before committing to these things. How is Kelly Rowan NOT Dan's mother? At least they got it right with Leighton.

( Speaking of Leighton. )